heidi week 5

i am depleted by school and frustrated that when i get home there is more school. frustrated that even if i tried to complete all of the assigned readings i wouldn't. mad i can't turn my brain off to do mindless activities because i have things i need to do and priorities that keep getting pushed back onto the next day and next. mad it takes me three hours to get to school and back. money sleep stomach virus etc etc etc. tonight i am making fried chicken & mac & cheese. writing is going fine but my hand gets tired and i want to turn my brain off.

thinking about:
the way i smelled in elementary school
the 5 year difference between myself and my sister
the day dale earnhardt died
the day princess diana died
the 2 bedroom apartment on the third floor

start of things, origins, reasons, effects, patterns, present.

bapistim easter christmas new years halloween dead pets missy molly mr warbucks death justin blue in the coffin god godfearing masturbating shame praying forgiveness forsaken the color blue my blue bedroom blue lighting in the kitchen in the morning

noxzema her recommended brand


“nothing records the effects of a sad life so graphically as the human body.”
― naguib mahfouz

rose tattoo removed, 1991