week 4 heidi

good morning

one of my classes for today has been cancelled so i have leisure of writing for the blog in the  early morning. which is nice, different.. for breakfast i had one kiwii a cup of coffee and a sesame bagel with cream cheese and artichoke hearts. its been my go-to breakfast for school days and is doing me well.

in response to author presentations >
i was very pleased to see kendra bring a filmmaker into the spectrum of writing. i find a lot of movies to be inspiring with the non-narrative storytelling and the ability to establish characters/place through things like music, dialect/dialogue, fashion. i am a very big "Q T" fan and pulp fiction is my absolute favorite (then jackie brown). pulp fiction is one of those movies i can watch over and over and over and continue to see new things. the last time i watched it was about two months ago with a friend who had never seen the movie, which i had often been referencing to her and trying to convince her to see. ("well my girlfriend is a vegetarian so that pretty much makes me a vegetarian") / mayonnaise instead of ketchup dialogue. most of these conversations were occurring in hamburger establishments. anyway last time i watched it i recognized a song i had never noticed before "lonesome town" by ricky nelson. it is very low in the scene when mia & vincent are having the five dollar shake. it's a song i had heard before by the cramps but i had never heard the original, which i now adore. anyway Q.T. is like the gift that keeps on giving for me..though disappointed with django unchained. oh yeah and my relationship with QT began when i was in the 7th grade and had a crush on someone who i knew liked the movie pulp fiction. since i was unable to rent the movie, i instead looked it up on the internet and ended up reading the whole script. i think it was a few years later that i first watched the movie, but i remember i had established characters in my mind from reading the script.. like the reverse experience of reading a book that you had already seen as a movie before. or something.

i've been doing well, no longer ill, and seeming to find a sporadic but regular schedule of writing in my daily life. i find it helpful to write in a notebook for first drafts instead of typing. i find it helpful to not write at home. i write down little ideas as they come to me and then come back to them later. i find it helpful to turn off the internet when i type up drafts. i find coffee and whiskey helpful.

yesterday i made phone calls home. to both my mother and my grandmother. i wanted to write down little dialogue notes to capture them as inspiration or maybe to use as an element of present time in my thesis. my mom talked about liking miracle whip more than mayonnaise for while, how they always had miracle whip in the house growing up except like once or twice every 5 years they'd have a jar of mayonnaise when the recipe called for it… "when i got older and moved out, i went out an bought a jar of mayonnaise and made a sandwich and i thought it tasted like shit. i only like to use mayo when i am making my BLT cause when you use miracle whip on a BLT the sweetness takes away from the taste of bacon."

she also discussed liking eddie murphy more than chris rock. going to church on wednesdays and fridays to avoid the crowd. sandwiches with melted swisscheese and spicy peppers on toasted rye. the way snow is ugly after a few days. told me to call my grandmother cause she was in the hospital recently and is always happy to hear from me.

then i called my grandmother who talked about my nephew getting so big and jackets that he grows out of and sales at macys and kholes and beth who isn't doing so well and she didn't mention the hospital and i didn't bring it up.

i have been meaning to ask family members about certain events/people in the past to get more context/details for subjects of my thesis but feel sensitive to bring up memories related to death or things that were challenging in the past.

back reads "looking like a big fool, shaved my head out of anger. shaved march 5, 1999."