Unattainable

Late. Forgetful. And trying to piece together stories and stories.

What I've discovered thus far is that my grandmother is ultimately unattainable. Therefore, I'm writing into the unknown, which makes this all the more difficult. I spent this morning trying to map out a narrative arc for this story - both her story and mine - but found that even with chronological order, there are gaps that push everything apart. I;m trying not to use those gaps, to find a way to let those illustrate the story where the actual experiences of her life can't.

Also, I am still struggling with sticking to a regular writing schedule. I find myself doing all other chores before I sit down to the page. Two days ago I rearranged my entire living room, reconfigured the record player, gathered stuff from old roommates and contacted them to come pick it all up, when shopping with a friend, then went out to dinner. All to avoid writing. All to keep the nothing I'm writing into at bay.

This weekend I will be in San Diego for a conference. I don't anticipate having much time for writing. Next week I'll turn in what I have. Hopefully between now then I will have some kind of divine intervention...