I sat down this morning and finally began--what I hope to be--my regular writing practice! It felt so good! I journaled for awhile and then did some writing about my thesis--attempting to map out the trajectory of the work. There is something about the morning hours that really centers me in my work. Perhaps it's the fresh start of a new day-- the first jolt of caffeine and the bright morning light. As I don't have class 'til 1 pm each day I really want to make a commitment to spend at least some portion of my morning writing.
Like Tessa wrote, I'm really trying to figure out how to write the story I want to tell. I'm also thinking about my sense of ownership in the story and trying to rework some of themes in the work to more closely relate to myself, in order to avoid the risk of unfairly telling someone else's story.
Today I spent some time thinking about my relationship to my body and how much this has been negatively or positively affected by our culture. Very generally I'm thinking about how (culturally) social, sexual, and political ideas of "womanhood" have shaped my experience of being female (in relation to sex and gender). I'm interested in how the dominant male gaze and lens have altered my perception/other women's perceptions of the female body. I feel there is also a parallel relationship/situation of dominant culture's impacts on the natural world--how the destruction of our planet parallels cultural expectations and alterations of the female body--distortions that render reality and the natural state of things unrecognizable and interchangeable. I feel these themes really play into "my personal narrative" about relationship to physical landscape/body, identity, and my father's perceptions/impositions/fantasies about the mythical "perfect woman."
I am currently trying to compile some research materials to better inform my work. This can be films, articles, books, poetry, anything really. If anyone has any recommended material please let me know! I am interested in learning more about colonialism (general I know...), the tension between exploitation and fantasy, and the fetishization/ idealization of women in regards to race and ethnicity as well.
Also, I apologize that none of this may be particularly eloquent!
Whew. I have a lot to think about. Really looking forward to meeting with Marci on Friday!!
Everything your read, observe, research can integrate or overwhelm.---- this is ambitious and shows the depth of your commitment to the work and the ideas. I hope you don't get drown by it. The ownership you talk about in the middle is really key and obviously you get that Olivia. I'm glad you feel like you're on your way and that your practice is taking hold. It is exciting.
ReplyDeleteelmaz
I always enjoy writing in the morning as well, something very clean and at peace with it and over exciting with caffeine as you said. All my classes are early morning this semester so I've been wasting my days off on sleeping in so far.. but I'd like to take note from you and start using my morning with some free writes. When I first read your post I felt on the tip of my tongue for some kind of suggestion for material, not sure if I actually have one or I just want to have one.. but if I remember anything/find something I'll be sure to let you know. I'm excited that you are continuing this project from last semester, I've enjoyed it all along and look forward to seeing the way you expand the story.
ReplyDeleteI'm happy you're finding your writing groove and, by the looks of this post, you're ready to hit the ground running with your project.
ReplyDeleteI also just really need to take the time to compliment you on your awareness of the themes in your work and how you want to tell your own story as opposed to someone else's. I think the way you're phrasing it is what's making me applaud, because "I don't want to offend anybody" guarantees no promises and, I feel, actually puts the idea in people's heads that they should find some part of the work to feel offended by, rather than read the work as what it is. You're just very meticulous (best word ever) with your project, and I'm so grateful, Rad Poetry Girl :)