i went to portland alone this weekend and the air was moist and tourism was thriving. these are some things i did: watched ace ventura: pet detective on TV. i ate steak & eggs and a bagel with lox and a carne asada burrito and drunken noodles and 1 bloody mary and 1 mimosa and several whiskeys on the rocks and 1 donut and some coffee and two icey green tea cream on the top drinks cause the coffee was weak and a bad chicken sandwich from SFO. i visited a potential graduate school and thought about my future and how i'm tired of commuting to school. i tried to imagine myself in oregon. i felt i revealed too much about myself to the program director. i tipped a lot of people very well with some crude intention to earn credibility in the city as more than another jackass tourist. i felt contempt for the concierge guy at the hotel i was at. i took a bath. i walked in the rain and got sick. i went to a strip club on sunday afternoon. i read the daily paper on monday morning. i watched tom and jerry. i walked into a chapel where someone was playing the organ frantically and no one else was there which was very dramatic. i accidentally stepped on a very large slug and felt bad afterwards and thought it was some kind of sign. i played gameboy on the airplane ride there and back. i didn't feel particularly guilty for not getting any "work" done unlike last week.
things are okay i see them coming to a nice lull for the next week or so or at least thats how i plan on treating it all. the past fews weeks have entailed a lot of commotion movement coming and going loss deadlines weird timing and weird weather. but now it seems everything is smoothing out to a general level of consistency to get my head straightened out. "winding down".
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