I got back on Tuesday from a week in New York City. I hadn't been since I was a little girl living on the east coast. I needed to get out of Oakland--was craving open spaces but was already committed to the new york trip--just the opposite of an open space. All the same it was a good trip. It was exciting. The momentum, the people, the cold cold rain, it was so dark there. Made me appreciate the Oakland sunshine but funny to come back here to the same cold. The trip got me thinking a lot about what's next for me. Still lots of ideas, who knows. I also got to check out the Poetry Project, went to a reading with Rodney Koeneke and Urayoan Noel and that was great. Finding poetry/lit communities outside of Mills has helped me think about transitioning out of school. Worried I won't keep writing, knowing I can't really not though, and for me finding these niches of people compelling one another remedies my anticipation of feeling displaced. I find it really interesting how many of these writing communities are so academic though--the world of poets feels like its own space, poets referencing one another, there's a base knowledge required, it seems to be a part of what the poets are talking about in their work. I felt this weird second of smug satisfaction when Urayoan Noel read work that was inspired by Natasha N. Nevada Diggs--feeling more like I'm starting to speak this language that the poetic community is invested in. I'm interested in the exclusive nature of these spaces, are they mostly just extensions of academic institutions and how does this frame contemporary work?
Working on my thesis... Realizing my writing style is changing right now, as it seems to evolve during each project. Not sure I like my writing right now. And finding it slightly frustrating that it's different from the work I produced in the fall. Wondering how it will all fit.
Craving open spaces. And inside those open spaces, little closed spaces surrounded by trees and green where no one can find me. That's what a real break would look like to me, but instead I had work work work.
ReplyDeleteYour comments on the poetry community are really insightful. Good for you, getting out there and seeing what it's all about and where you could fit into it. That's something I keep meaning to do more of, but it's hard to find the time and the courage.
Working on the same project over a long period of transition is frustrating. How do we keep it all together? How do we remember our center when it's in constant motion?
i think we should strive while we're in school to find the out of school worlds, kind of go into the shallow water before being pushed into the pool. That's great Olivia. And changes in your work. Excited to see.
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